navigating faith
by uncontained hybrid
Summary: ten moments of hannah and anthony's friendship. / belief never came easily to hannah abbott.


_i._

The first time he meets her, his family has just moved into a new house. She's on her way home, staring up at their front window, curious about the large candelabra that stands there.

Anthony calls out to her, "What do you want?"

She starts, blushes, and runs inside her own house before he can say anything else.

When they see each other again the next morning, his mother's rushing them out the door – everything's such a mess, what with the move and all – and she's calmly walking down the street to the comprehensive not far away, the first bell equally as far in the distance.

He stops, despite his mother's insistence, and wishes her a good morning. She's daydreaming, yet again, but she smiles at him and mumbles her own greeting.

"Come on, Anthony, you're going to be late for prayers again," his mother sighs.

When he sees her again, this time on the eighth night of Hannukah, he's at the door of her house, smile on his face, his younger sister in tow. Hannah peers at him curiously from behind her mother's figure.

"We brought doughnuts," he explains. "My mother made extra. She thought we should get to know our neighbours."

Mrs. Abbott graciously accepts them. "How old are you, dear?"

"I'm ten. And my sister is eight."

"My Hannah is the same age. Hannah, come here. Have you met Anthony?"

Hannah just shrugs, looking down at her feet.

"They brought us some doughnuts."

Hannah may be shy, but she knows her manners well enough. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Anthony responds, hastily adding. "It's a menorah, the thing you were looking at the other day." He turns and hurries away, while Hannah nods her head once in recognition.

* * *

_ii._

Aside from hurried greetings, the two don't see each other much. Hannah is a quiet girl, absorbed in her books inside her quiet home, while Anthony's home is a whirlwind. Boys with strange head-coverings filter in and out, and the house is filled with laughter and songs and the smells of strange foods that Hannah doesn't recognise when Mrs. Goldstein sends over leftovers to all the neighbours.

* * *

_iii._

Hannah feels lost as she tugs at her trunk, having said goodbye to her parents on the platform. They both seemed rather hurried – both having busy Ministry jobs. She looks for a compartment, before pulling open the door to one which is almost empty.

She drops her trunk in shock when she sees who's sitting inside.

"What are you doing here?" she blurts out.

He seems equally shocked, but he recovers quickly. "Going to Hogwarts," he smirks.

"I know that."

He helps her stow her trunk in the luggage compartment above. "You're Hannah, right?"

"Yeah, that's me." She pauses for a second before asking, "Are you a Muggleborn?"

"My mother is Muggleborn. Does it matter to you?" he asks defiantly.

"My mother too." Hannah gestures to the book in his hands. "Do you like to read?"

Anthony grins, because he talk about books for hours on end. By the time the train is pulling up towards Hogwarts and they've both put on their uniforms, they've gone through several rounds of 20 Questions, Hannah's shyness is gone around Anthony, and Anthony hopes they'll be in the same house, because he wants this girl to be his friend.

When "Abbott, Hannah" is sorted into Hufflepuff and he is sorted into Ravenclaw, his heart sinks. Because Anthony may love to learn but he also wants to be where he knows he has friends. But it's not so bad after all, because Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs take classes together, and he gets to see her a lot.

* * *

_iv._

Out of all the people at Hogwarts, Hannah is the least judgemental about his Judaism, and she never questions it, despite her usual cynicism. She shows up at his bar mitzvah the summer of his third year, the other Hogwarts students in tow, and makes sure they stay quiet during the reading. She stops them from eating the sweets before they can get a chance to throw them, but when Anthony finishes his reading, she laughs and throws the sweets with as much force as she can, because even she couldn't pass up the chance to hit Anthony right between the eyes.

* * *

_v._

When Umbridge comes to Hogwarts, Hannah is the one who convinces Anthony to join Dumbledore's Army. She can be manipulative when she wants to be, and so Anthony trudges along after her to join the crowd inside the Hog's Head. Because revolution and war and escape are in his genes, and Hannah knows it.

* * *

_vi._

Anthony never cared for Herbology, and he doesn't need it if he wants to work at Gringotts. He never could forgive himself for not being able to say goodbye to Hannah, and he wishes he could make it to the funeral for Mrs. Abbott – who he now knows to call only by her first name.

Hannah doesn't respond to his letters, and he wonders if he is holding onto something that isn't there, because Anthony doesn't have a clue what to say.

* * *

_vii._

When Hannah returns to Hogwarts for her seventh year, Anthony is there for her, no questions asked. He doesn't know where she lives anymore, only knows what his mother told him about Hannah and her father moving out not long after Diane Abbott's death. But Anthony knows that they need each other, and he pushes away his hurt to help his friend to catch up on schoolwork, even if he isn't sure they are anything but strangers anymore.

* * *

_ix._

Hannah wishes she could bridge the gap that has grown between her and Anthony, but she doesn't know how to anymore than she knows how to decipher the Hebrew that Anthony spends so much time reading nowadays. Besides, the Carrows didn't act kindly towards interhouse friendships, and she knew better than to openly bend the rules.

Anthony is offended when she curses him for being so rash, for supporting Michael Corner. "How do you have the right to tell me what to do when you've barely spoken to me since fifth year?" She just turns away and hides her tears, because they've got bigger things to worry about than Anthony's teenage stubborness.

* * *

_x_.

Anthony, strong as he was, doesn't survive the Battle. She sobs at his graveside, wondering how to make it up to him. She feels out of place in the Jewish cemetery, the way she felt when Anthony's grandmother called her a 'shiksa', confused by the lack of flowers and the unforgiving stones on top of his grave.

For all her philosophical discussions with Anthony, she never discussed death with him. Hannah had discovered that after someone you know passes away, the person you want most to discuss it with is so very often the person you are mourning.

She runs a hand over the small grave marker, mumbling the Psalm Anthony had once taught her in English. She doesn't think she believes in much of anything anymore. After all, the two most religious people in her life were taken by the very God they had believed could save them.

* * *

_For QL. Puddlemere, Beater 2. Holding, force and shock. _


End file.
